01.01.2019
I just realized I missed a complete year writing in here. It's like a mental black out where there are no stories or memories, which also means that nothing existed for the time spent there.
2018 has been an emotional ride (tbh as per every year), however, the last year spent was different. I'm different. This whole time-wrap has made me different.
I functioned differently.
I see things differently, it's like on certain levels, I'm no longer the same person I was and yet nothing has change.
Every year I'd take my time to recap on what the year has brought me but this year I can't. I can barely phantom the remaining feelings I have to call it whole. I keep struggling and fighting the anxiety that's been fueling up inside me.
Some days I don't even win. I just stay in there hopeful that I'll ever make it out alive.
Most days, I'm not sure what is going on.
My mental health for 2018 has been the crucial breaking point of my existence.
2018 was a painfully nonchalant year for me, emotionally exhausting.
I have yet to do my video recap, so that is that.
Don't think I'm actually going to touch it for another couple of months.
Overall, I think 2018 is like, the 19-20 year old phase, where it's just a buffer period. You are legal to start your life as an adult (driving, buying alcohol, getting into clubs, buying cigarettes) but you're not quite a complete adult yet.
Ah well.
Either way, I wish everyone a better 2019.
May 2019 be a year of realization, where we find out what we really want.
Salud